Thorns in our Flesh

"...a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Well as you can see, I already decided to take a break from 'Christians and Beauty' and went back to writing about one of my personal favorite subjects: suffering. I, like the Apostle Paul, have a thorn in my flesh. It probably isn't nearly as bad as his was, but it is enough to make me think that I suffer a great deal. I know that God is sovereign. I know He is in control. I know He works all things out for the good of those who love Him. Yes, I know all of this, and I am glad that all of this is true, but let's face it: I'm only a weak human, and sometimes, humans just get sick of suffering. We want to cry out, "I've suffered long enough, Lord! I've already learned any lessons that can possibly come out of this! Please, please, remove this dreadful thorn from my flesh; I can't deal with it any longer!" I must admit, whenever I feel burdened with my struggles, I really do not feel like looking on the bright side. The only thing in the world I want to do is wallow in my self pity and rant on and on about the unfairness of my thorn. But I know this is not what would please the Lord. This is what Satan would want me to do. Therefore I am going to force myself to take a look at suffering from a godlier perspective.

First of all, I want to say that none of us are alone in our struggles. I know that I personally am guilty of feeling that I am the only one who ever shed a tear. I like to look at the world with disdain, sighing "Nobody can possibly know what I suffer! No one has ever had to bear the load that I do." This is just plain selfish thinking. Not only that, but it contradicts the truth of the Word. Let us look at 1 Peter 5:9: "Resist [the devil], firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world." There we have it. All Christians have to deal with thorns of some kind, and no, this isn't because God is mean and likes to see us cry. It is because He is our Father and sometimes the best way to teach us what He wishes us to learn is to make us suffer. In Paul's case, he knew God had given him his thorn, whatever it may have been, to keep him from becoming conceited. We see that it taught him to rely more and more on God's strength rather than his own.

"For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives." Hebrews 12:6.

When we bear this verse in mind, we can actually look at our struggles as a comfort. They remind us of God's love for us, and of His active hand in our lives. He isn't a Father who lets us get away with whatever we want. He truly wants us to learn to be righteous, even if we have to learn it the hard way. As much as I hate to admit it sometimes, the lessons I have learned from the thorn in my flesh have definitely been worth the pain. I won't go into every little thing I've learned, but overall, my suffering has caused me to draw closer to God than I ever have before. I don't know how hard I can stress that He is a VERY present help in times of trouble. He listens to my prayers over and over again and cares for me like none other. He reminds me of His presence and His mercy. He fills me with the peace that passes understanding. Only through the process of dealing with my "thorn" have I finally begun to think of God as a friend, and now that I look back on it, that has been worth every sigh and tear. I suppose, as with every relationship, a relationship with God is strongest when it has had to deal with hard times as well as good. That, reader, is one answer to our question of, "Why do the righteous suffer?!" We suffer because it draws us closer to God.

Many Christians, myself included, have such a wrong attitude towards suffering. We actually think that God owes us relief, when in reality, He does not owe us one little thing. Consider what He has already done for us in allowing His perfect Son to die so that we vile and perverted creatures could be spared the eternal flames of Hell that we so justly deserve. Was that good enough for me? I have to answer "no." Now that my eternal life is all taken care of, I want God to give me the earthly life I want. When His plans differ from mine, I feel sorry for myself and complain about the unfairness of it all. This is such sinful, foolish thinking. After all God has done for me, how can I presume to ask for more? How can I be angry at Him for making me deal with this small, temporary thorn in my flesh when He has already spared me from something much, much worse? The very least I can do is to serve Him willingly in whatever He has ordained for me. No, His will for my life is not always what I personally would choose, but God is sovereign. He is the Potter and I am the clay. He has every right to do what He will do to me. He does not need to ask my permission to make me suffer. He is not even required to tell me why He does what He does in my life. I have no right to complain about God's providence. He is so, so much greater and wiser than me, but when I argue to Him, it is as if I am elevating my own "wisdom" above His. I think that I sometimes forget just who I am dealing with. Therefore, like Job, "I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes."